Malaya

*Malaya means free in Tagalog

My favourite spot

Today, I went to my favourite spot here at Tanjung Lipat. To eat my lunch while having some rough time adjusting my inner feelings what I felt while driving from the hospital.

My tears just won't stop falling again and again. Why I must experience this again? 

I can only cried to ease the pain I've been holding up. I miss you NJ. 😔

Holding up,

AL

Who Knew

 2 weeks more before entering another new month. How does it feel like for the past few weeks now?

There's just too many ups and downs going on for the past 2 months. The future is not something I'm looking forward to. No. Not this time. It's been quite chaotic but in a sedate phase. My mind and my heart seems to be somewhere over the rainbow. Wishing this pain won't bring me down once again and I find it hard to deal with my emotions these days.

I began to feel shrinking like there's something absorbing my positive energy. My current situation, my own personal life, people around me, my work life all these making me feeling down. It's not what I want to deal with everyday situation. Being an adult is f*****g hard!

My everyday view every time I go back home.

After the school break would be more challenging for me. Sometimes, I doubted myself if I can do it? But, with the right amount of support, I think I will. I hope to do so. Who knows what will happen to me this year?

Love,

AL

Muse On

Sunset at Lahad Datu road

2023 was not the year that I was hoping for. I didn't even have a good start for the New Year. 

Things become quite chaotic the past few weeks and I'm not sure if I can hold on or focusing the present. Overthink kills me sometimes. It kills my positive vibes. 

NJ reminded me who I was before. "You used to be so vibrant before". In addition, his quotes has been with me for years, "Be patience and be strong". Sometimes, I doubted myself. "Can I be strong for that long?". My imagination had gone haywire. Every time I feel down, NJ has always been there to lift my spirit up when I'm on the edge of falling down. What will I do without you around?

I can't predict the future for me and my family.  Once again, to go through this kind of journey needs  a lot of courage and strength. Much worst is it's about my family and my own personal life at the same time. I still pounder can I do this once again? 

Stay strong,

AL